Thus Speaks LAUSD, Part II

Letter Dated February 28, 2013. Full LAUSD letterhead. John E. Deasy, Ph.D., the microwave popcorn version of doctorates. (Microwave popcorn takes six minutes. John Deasy's Ph.D. took six months.)

Re. Mr. Sergio Garcia vs. LAUSD

Dear Mr. Williams.

“Wait. Didn’t you say Mr. Garcia?”

“Yes I did.”

“Well who is this to, Mr. Garcia or Mr. Williams?”

“I don’t know.”

“You don’t know?”

“Uhhh, no I don’t. I think it's to Mr. Williams, though. That's what it says.”

"But it's about Mr. Garcia."

"I think so. Yes."

“Really? You think so? OK, go on.”

Thank you for meeting with me at Educational Service Center East on February 27, 2013 at 1:30 p.m. regarding John Doty’s appeal…

"Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute. John Doty? Who the heck is John Doty? I thought this was to Sergio Garcia, I mean Mr. Williams, I mean, well, what the hell do I mean? What the hell do YOU mean?"

“I don’t know.”

“Wait a minute. You don’t know?”

“No I don’t.”

“Not a clue?”

“Nope.”

“Huh. You know I find this really hard to…oh forget it. Just go on.”

During the appeal, Mr. Garcia stated….

“Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Mr. Garcia? Did you just say Mr. Garcia? Where the hell is John Doty? What have you done with him? You didn’t hurt him or anything I hope. And poor Mr. Williams. I hate to think what's happened to him. What have you done with him? Come on. Just WHO ARE WE TALKING ABOUT here?”

“No idea.”

“No idea? What is this, LAUSD's imitation of Abbott and Costello? Who’s on Sergio, what’s on Williams, and John Doty’s on third? So this letter to Mr. Williams references Mr. Garcia, but concerns the appeal of a Notice of Unsatisfactory Act issued to Mr. Doty while supposedly quoting Mr. Garcia during Mr. Garcia's appeal of HIS Notice of Unsatisfactory Act?

"Yes."

"Are you attributing the words of Mr. Garcia to John Doty, the words of John Doty to Mr. Garcia, or the words of Mr. Garcia to Mr. Garcia at John Doty's appeal meeting? Or are you attributing the words of Mr. Garcia to John Doty, the words of John Doty to Mr. Garcia, or the words of Mr. Garcia to Mr. Garcia during Mr. Garcia's appeal meeting? Which is it?"

"I don't know."

"Not a clue?"

"No."

"Six different possibilities?"

"It would seem so, yes."

How many paragraphs are left?”

 

“One.”

“One? Who is it to? No wait, let me guess. It’s to, uhhhh... Oh hell, just tell me. No, forget it. Never mind who it's to. I don’t even want to know. What is the final paragraph in regards to?”

“It passes judgment.”

“It passes judgment?”

“Yes.”

“But you don’t know upon whom.”

“Yes I do! Of course I do!”

“You do? How is that possible? You’ve got a letter regarding a Mr. Garcia, to a Mr. Williams, summarizing details with regards to Mr. Dody's meeting while quoting (possibly) Mr. Garcia  while either at Mr. Doty's or Mr. Garcia's appeal meeting and now you are going to pass judgment on one of them?”

“Yes.”

“And you know who you are passing judgment upon.”

“Yes I do. Of course I do.”

“How?”

“I don’t know.”

"You don't know?"

“Not really. No."

“But you pass judgment anyway?”

“Yes.”

“Why? Why on Earth would you do that?”

“Because it doesn’t matter.”

“It doesn’t matter? How can you say it doesn’t matter? These are three professional educators who have dedicated their lives to serving and educating children! How can you say it doesn’t matter?”

“Because we are firing everybody. The name, or in this case names on the paper really don’t make any difference.”

“And you say that in the last paragraph?”

“Oh no, of course not.”

“What do you say?”

“We say we are firing Mr. Garcia.”

“But not Mr. Williams?”

“No.”

“You’re not firing Mr. Williams?”

“Oh no, certainly we are firing Mr. Williams. We’re just not firing him with this official district document.”

"What about Mr. Doty?" 

"Him too."

"Him too what?"

"We are firing him too. The last paragraph is always the same. The names above? Who the letters are addressed to? Details? Who said what? The merits? The facts? None of that matters. What matters is the last paragraph. You're fired."

“Who the hell are you anyway?”

“Me? I’m Dr. Jose Cantu, Ed.D. I’m the Operations Coordinator for ESC East.”

“Excuse me, did I hear you say Dr.?”

“Yes. Ed.D.”

"Ed.D. You mean as in, 'Dr.' James Noble, Ed.D."

"Exactly."

“Ed.D. What does that stand for?”

“How the hell should I know? Hey look, bud. It’s not like I’ve got all day here. I’m an important man. I’ve got things to do. I’ve got teachers to fire.”

“But you don’t know who.”

“Of course I know who!”

“You do?”

“Of course I know! I’m firing all of them! I just don’t know who I am firing or why I am firing them at any particular moment in time. There’s no need to worry, though. It all comes out the same in the end.”